Monday, March 12, 2012

Bitter-Sweet


No doubt for many of those who read this blog regularly, you are confused by my silence. Perhaps you are even a bit concerned.

If so, let me reassure you. I’m alive and well --for the most part.

Considering that writing is my greatest catharsis, it can well be assumed something is wrong when I grow silent.

My silence stems not from a lack of stories but the energy to do it well.

Weeks have flown by at a mind-numbing speed while my brain swirls in a kaleidoscope of colors and words --of conversations and images. Dizzy I sputtered to a stop this week, only to have it race on. And on.

And on.

Admittedly, I’ve been coping in various ways. Hiding. Crying. Venting. Working. Praying. Hiding some more.

It has been a season of finding balance --of stopping to breathe --of learning to be still.

Now, I’m finally in a place where I can write again.

Finally.

The largest tidbit of news I have to share, as I watch the dust settle over my quieted heart, is that my season with this ministry is over.

Originally, I intended to complete my two years and take my furlough in June. But for various reasons (fatigue, new ministry directions, etc.), I asked my directors to consider replacing me before then.

I was not sure how long it would take to find my replacements, so I was unable to guess how much longer I had in Tonj. However, last Friday, one of my directors informed me that my replacements would be arriving in two weeks.

Two Kenyan midwives (or possibly nurses, I’m not sure) are coming to take over.

What that means is... the gentle birth I had on Thursday, was my last.

What that means is... I will not be returning to work at the clinic.

I’m not sure what the future holds right now. All I know is that a new season has begun... and it’s bitter-sweet.

Please pray for me as I transition out of this ministry, and make plans for the coming months. My heart is to stay in South Sudan and continue working as a midwife while training local midwives.

But honestly... I want God’s plans for me, not my own.

Pray specifically for me as...
  • I’m trying to get to Yei to speak with various ministries about starting a birthing clinic there.
  • I’m arranging to meet with the Ministry of Health in this region in hopes of learning what that will entail. 
  • I’m filling out applications for a wonderful ministry in the East working with refugees.
I trust God to guide me, and ask only that you’d stand with me in prayer.

Also... don’t be surprised if I start sharing some of the crazy things that have happened during these weeks of silence. I have TONS of stories to share... even if they are a bit late.

So keep and eye out for them. They’re coming...