Hearing Him in the Darkness

(Guest Writer: Bubba Hoelzer )

Every day I read My Utmost for His Highest.  It is one of my favorite devotionals and today’s devotion spoke to my heart:

Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and God puts us into “the shadow of His hand” until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2).

“Whatever I tell you in the dark. . .”  — pay attention when God puts you into darkness, and keep your mouth closed while you are there.

Are you in the dark right now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? If so, then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will speak while in the wrong mood— darkness is the time to listen.

Don’t talk to other people about it; don’t read books to find out the reason for the darkness; just listen and obey. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light.

Yes Lord, when you bring me thru darkness in my life, complaining only defeats Your purpose for me. Talking to others about my struggles does not help my darkness—and more times than not it can drag them into my dark circumstances.

Yes, Lord, the wise thing to do is listen and obey. The only one I should speak to is You during times of darkness. Even if I shout to You it is better than a whisper to another. My heart and dependence must remain upon You and not the counsel of others. 

Listening and obedience are very difficult for us when we are feeling all alone and less than able to walk the steps You have called us to during in our everyday life. But Your power can only be funneled into me during these trying times as I focus all attention on you. This same lesson You taught to the children of Israel when they come to the bitter waters of the desert. Their nature was to complain, but You began to teach them the power of listening and obeying and having total trust in You. It was after they heard Your words to them that they found an oasis in the desert.

He said, “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the LORD who heals you.” After leaving Marah, the Israelites traveled on to the oasis of Elim, where they found twelve springs and seventy palm trees. They camped there beside the water. Exodus 15:26-27 (NLTSE)

While reading the story of the two blind men in Matthew I realized they were living in total darkness—both physically and spiritually. As they were sitting in their usual spot they were listening to a large crowd passing by and heard that Jesus was coming. They began to cry out to Jesus and did not seek or follow the aid or counsel of those around them.

In fact, when the crowd told them to be quiet, they became more focused on Jesus and called all the louder. They had no way of knowing if Jesus had already passed them and gone on his way, but they continued seeking Him in their darkness until they personally heard the Master’s voice. Then in an attitude of obedience they were able to hear and in response to His question, simply responded, "We want to see".

This moved Jesus to touch their eyes and remove the darkness from them. The power to radically change their situation came thru listening for Jesus and then hearing His voice.  All of this was done with humble and obedient hearts. Light flooded their eyes and their hearts as they submitted themselves to Him.  See Matthew 20:29-34.

A grumbling, self-centered, self-pitying and immature attitude will never move the spirit world on my behalf. Praise and perseverance are the only way thru, but honestly I often feel that I am wavering deep within myself teetering to and fro.

One minute remembering the truth, the next hearing a lie. Why, Lord, do I struggle with raw emotions when others achieve more than I can? This should not make me feel as if I am less than, but it does. I know that it is only when I am secure in the fact that You love me and created me special for your purpose that these fleshly emotions will begin to cease.

Lord, I want to strive to remember all the great things you have done in my life. I choose to press on to remember all the great things I have seen You do. I will cling to the truth that you have been there and moved obstacles that were not possible for anyone other than You to move. I am listening, Lord, and need to hear my Master’s Voice to give me the strength to continue. I am willing to be obedient, but I must hear Your words in me to give me the confidence I need to be victorious. I am listening for You. 

I hear You say:
"I am the Lord, your God that opened the Red Sea, am I not powerful enough to open your mouth"?

"The words you will use, whether many or few will be inspired by me".

"The words will indeed come, but it is the heart from which they will spring that I am shaping now".

"My Spirit within you, when needed, will form the words of your tongue, as well as forming the example your life will portray".

Those who seek will find and blind eyes will see and deaf ears will be opened.  Tongues will be loosed and the lame will jump for joy. 

The next time you are struggling, and feel the darkness of life covering you, submit your life to Him, walk in obedience to His word, turn your ear to no other and you too will hear the Master’s Voice.

(Copied with permission.)

Post Script: Bubba and his wife Cathy are M-workers among our cousins here in Africa. Please pray for them to be used powerfully for His glory among the tribes. His insights have blessed me over and over this week. I pray they bless you all as well.
Love ~SW

Mother's Day Message~

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."  Psalm 127:3

Guest Author: Suzy Kuj, IDAT Ministries Director
       Sitting under the grass banda to escape the horrendous heat in rural Tonj, South Sudan, I realized Mother's Day was here and I needed to appreciate my mum living now in Florida. More and more each year, I treasure my mum, who raised four children.  And each year, while working in South Sudan, my appreciation and wonderment is also for mothers worldwide and especially those here in Sudan.

      Our soon-to-be-independent nation holds one of the worst maternal mortality ratios in the world at 2,054 deaths per 100,000 live births. That means that 1 out of every 48 babies who are born alive loses their mother at birth. In the United States that statistic is 8 deaths/100,000, or 1 out of every 12,500. That the average woman in South Sudan experiences 7 pregnancies in her life makes this reality even more dire, statistically, 1 of every 7.5 women will die due to pregnancy or delivery complications. Take a moment to think of 8 women you know. If you lived in South Sudan, chances are one of them would die from hemorrhage, sepsis, or obstructed labor.

      It's a grim reality. So why tout these dismal maternal health statistics on Mother's Day? Because even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, there is progress, offering hope for South Sudan's future.

      Warrap County has only 10% of births attended by a skilled attendant.  Our clinic has a full-time African nurse midwife and a missionary midwife from USA even though we seriously lack available medical personnel.  Most health facilities in South Sudan are run by community health workers who have only nine months of training and few clinical skills to handle complicated cases, we have an American volunteer doctor and Kenyan Clinical Officer.  We are blessed more than others and have much to be thankful for.  Every day our clinic saves the lives of these precious women.  Our clinic also has JESUS!  And HE brings the greatest hope of all. 

Suzy with her children on Mother's Day.

     If you are a Mum, our Mother's Day gift to you this year is letting you know we commit to reduce the number of mothers who die during child birth, through using our trained staff and trusting in the Lord Jesus for hope.  We will work and pray so other children will have a chance to treasure their mums a little more deeply each passing year. We promise to bring the hope of Jesus Christ to each mummy and celebrate her choice to come to our clinic and allow us to help her.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mum's reading this.

Still Understanding Sudan

Guest Author ~ Daniel Crawford (Short term missionary who served with IDAT over the summer)

He writes in his most recent blog:

I have been back from Sudan for almost 6 weeks now.  Last Sunday at church I vividly relived an experience I had in Sudan.  It meant little to me at the time, but now I understand why I had it: so that I could know God's love for me more.

In the middle of worship the Lord revived my memory of the day I slaughtered a goat in Sudan.  It was so bloody, so messy, and just horrific.  The Father and the Son went through this horrible ordeal for me.  When I killed the goat, I felt it's life-blood on my hands.  I'm not about to get theological, but I wonder, did the Father feel the life of His Son in his hands?  They suffered so much.

I also remember, although I was not present for the experience, the second goat we slaughtered in Sudan.  I heard the story that Jonathan had the knife on the goat's neck when Donato came running: "Not that goat!  Not that goat!"  He came and spared the goat's life.  A different goat was killed.  That is what Jesus did for me.  When the knife was put to my throat, He came running, yelling "Not that goat!  Not that goat!  I love him!"  He came and He spared me, and placed Himself under the knife that was meant for me.  His life was taken.  Blood and water flowed from His side.  The Father watched as He died.

O Lord, your love is so good.

The Lord showed me these things and much more during worship last Sunday, and I left knowing His love for me unlike ever before.

I am back in SLO for college.  I am still working on a video documentary of my experience in Sudan.  It will be released soon.

Blessings,
Daniel

Check out Daniels blog at Summer in Sudan

Lessons Learned.

(Guest Writer: Jessica Leong (volunteer/Nurse)

I got frustrated today.  Angry even.

It all started because of the slow day.  It’s rainy and since everybody walks everywhere, we always expect rainy days to bring fewer patients.  It was mid-afternoon and I was all caught up on wound care and immunizations and was looking to help wherever needed.  I walked into Dennis’ room where he and Margaret were trying to get an IV in a small girl who lied lethargically in her mother’s arms.  She could not even hold up her own head.  I asked what was going on and they said something about possible alcohol poisoning and aspiration. She obviously needed an IV, but they had tried several times without any luck. 

Something that I’ve realized here is that they always start IV’s in veins that are visual whereas I’m used to using my index finger to feel for and find veins.  I figured I’d give it a try.  We were desperate and after one failed attempt, additional family members came in.  They seemed upset and we found out through our translator that they wanted to take her.  They obviously didn’t trust us because of the multiple times we had already tried for an IV.  They then said they were going to take her to a “magician.”  Translation: witchdoctor.  Dut, our security guard, was supportive of them for some reason.  I didn’t understand.  How could this guy who works for a Christian organization be telling these guys to leave to go to the witchdoctor?  Not okay.  Ever.

I hadn’t given up on the search for a vein, but Dennis told me to stop.  They needed to leave.  He quickly prescribed her some medication that he thought might help and let them leave.  I was heartbroken.  These people just walked out of a Bible-believing compound to go to a demonic, worldly witchdoctor. 

I sat outside, thinking about what had just happened.  I let somebody go.  She could die.  I should have done something more about it.  I was so angry with Dut for letting them leave and even supporting their decision.  I went to my room and cried harder than I’ve cried in a long time. 

Once I could think rationally again, I realized that I needed to get the facts straight.  I couldn’t assume that I understood everything that went on.  I went back to the clinic and spoke with Dennis in private and he explained what had happened that I had not picked up on.

When Dennis saw that the situation could easily get out of control, he called Dut to speak with the family members.  It was then that Dut noticed that this man was carrying a sword.  Most of the family was drunk (as was the child) and one thing about the Dinka is that they always get violent when drunk.  Dut didn’t want to put any of us in harm’s way.  That’s when he promptly came into the room with all of us trying for the IV and the crowd of people followed him.  The father in his anger told Dut that if the child died in the room he would retaliate, meaning kill one of us.  Dennis picked up on the facial expressions that Dut was making and told us all to stop trying for an IV and let the family leave. 

Boy, was I glad I got clarification on the situation!  Dut was protecting us by sending the people away and Dennis was keeping the girl from the witchdoctor by giving them some simple meds that might or might not help.  Maybe they would stay home to see if the medications would work, allowing the girl to sleep off some of the intoxication. 

Today’s lessons: 

Don’t fight the decisions of the people who have been here longer.  They know what they are doing.

Don’t freak out when things don’t go my way.  God can still protect that girl from the harm that her family may bring on her.

Alal's Story...

(Guest Author: Jessica Leong- short term missionary/Nurse)
We’d been seeing a lot of pneumonia cases in small children here at the clinic.  I woke up this morning nervous for what the day was going to bring.  I didn’t want a repeat of Monday.  Seeing that one little girl die was enough for me.

The day had almost come to a close when 6-year-old Alal was brought in by her mother. She was feverish and had been convulsing before arriving at the clinic.  It seemed like another straight forward case of malaria…until I put my hand on her chest as she breathed rapidly.  Fluid in the lungs. 

Oh no, I thought, Lord please don’t let this little girl die. 

I had been fearing a Monday-repeat. After going through all the initial treatments for Alal, we laid her on a mat outside just feet away from the spot where Yom had passed away. After a few minutes, I noticed that her breathing was becoming more labored.  She was bringing up mucus and saliva with each breath. Not what I was wanting to see.  I ran for the bulb syringe, hoping that maybe I had caught it a little sooner with Alal than I did with Yom. 

After suctioning her the best I could, I kept a close eye on her.  Kids deteriorate much faster than adults do and I wanted to monitor Alal very closely.  For the next 2 hours I checked on her often and was very excited to see that her vitals were looking better and her breath sounds were much improved.  I had hope.  She was going to wake up.  

I returned to the clinic around 7pm to find her mattress empty.  I thought maybe she had been moved inside.  But then I was informed that they had left.  Alal too had died. 

Frustrated….  Frustrated because I know what could have been done in any US hospital.

Heartbroken…. Heartbroken because I knew another family was mourning the loss of a little child.

I sit here wondering why it had to happen like this.  Why did I have to be so closely involved with both cases this week?  I can only come up with 2 answers. 

1 – God will not give me more than I can handle. 

2 – I was able to pray for each child and their families. 

With each death this week there had been a pastor present who prayed in Dinka for everyone to hear.  Maybe through these girls’ deaths someone will be touched through the words prayed or the faith by which they were uttered.

Yom’s story…

(Jessica Leong- short term missionary/Nurse)

Monday morning – bracing myself for a busy day. Many people wait until Monday to bring their sick family members even though they would qualify as an emergency case on Sunday. That was the case for 3-year-old Yom.

She lay limp and unresponsive in her mother’s arms as we rushed them to a consultation room. She felt hot and we immediately started with the usual treatment for malaria. IV fluids, anti-malaria meds, and Tylenol to bring down the fever. It was only after initiating this first round of treatment that I put my hand on her chest to feel her labored breathing. Something wasn’t right.

I could feel fluid in her lungs just by placing my hand on her side. Not a good sign. After then listening to her lungs, we started her on IV antibiotics to treat for pneumonia.

I must say, in the States we would have treated this girl very differently if she’d have come into an emergency room. She would have been intibated immediately and deep suction would have been performed (translation: tube placed in her trachea to help her breath and mucus suctioned from her airways) then moved to an intensive care unit.

But we are not in the States. We are in South Sudan. Nearest hospital – 3.5 hours away. The family wanted to drive her there, but we all knew she would not live.

In the meantime, it’s getting harder and harder for Yom to breath. Mucus and saliva are filling her mouth with each breath. How badly I wished at that moment that I could properly suction her. The best thing I could think of was a bulb syringe (the kind used to suction the mouth and nose of newborns). We tried it over and over, but the job wasn’t getting done.

Despite our best efforts, Yom went to be with Jesus just minutes after we laid hands on her and prayed for her. We had done all we could and even tried to resuscitate her.

Girlfriend Bite!

(Post written by Guest Author Jessica Leong who is on a short term trip here in Sudan!)

A busy day in wound care. I seem to be the wound care consultant. I’m not too sure how I got that job besides the couple weeks I’ve spent performing wound care on the Sudanese people that come into the clinic. Anytime somebody comes in with a cut or bite or burn, I get the chance to participate in the decisions of how to treat it.

Melissa was working in registration that afternoon. She came into my room asking me to take a look at this bite that this man had on his ankle. I asked how it happened and she stated that it was from his girlfriend. I immediately thought how bad this could be because of the increased chance of infection that a human bite has versus an animal bite.

I walk outside to see a man pointing to his ankle. It looked a little bit swollen, but there were no teeth marks. So again we asked what happened and again we got the same response. The man was bit by his girlfriend.

“What kind of girlfriend bites a man’s ankle?” I thought. Anyway, I had to believe the man. So I looked down at his ankle again, convincing myself that I must have not seen the teeth marks the first time. But again, I see nothing except a small amount of inflammation. I tell the man that he must wait behind all the other patients due to the fact that his injury was not very serious.

We ask again, this time the men around keep saying “girlfriend, girlfriend,” or so Melissa thought. I finally figured out that they were saying “scorpion,” not girlfriend (the “p” and “f” sound very similar when spoken by a Sudanese). Oh, well a scorpion bite! That makes much more sense! Of course this man is hurting. Of course his ankle is swollen. Of course he wasn’t bitten by his girlfriend.

Come to find out, the Dinka language does not have a word for girlfriend, so they were not even understanding us when we kept repeating back to them, “girlfriend?”

Oh the misunderstandings that occur between two people groups and two languages.

Girlfriend? No. Scorpion.