I want gentle, unhurried births. I want tender moments and relaxed atmospheres. I want to offer these women a joyful experience... as much as is realistically possible; I want be hands-off.
So, out of protest (of what? of my wrong thinking and silliness!) I’ve decided to practice ‘intentional inaction’ with all my future births. The joy of this resolve has been overwhelming.
Let me explain.
The other day, when Anyang waddled in with contractions every 3 minutes, I knew she was close. I forbid myself from doing an ‘admission’ vaginal exam. Instead, I reassured her that she and her baby were doing famously and that the birth would be soon. Would she be interested in walking around a bit?
She was and immediately marched off. I joined her in her journey not wanting her to be alone. I was there just as an observer. She chose to circle the clinic grounds, stopping every few meters to kneel for a contraction. I kept pace with her, though at times it was difficult; she walked so fast!
On the last leg of her trek, while kneeling in the dirt she began to grunt and push. I asked her if it was time and she nodded. Together we hurried back to the birth-room. She crawled on the bed, even though I assured her she could deliver in any position she wanted. After pushing once of twice on her back, she decided that wasn’t what she wanted after all.
Moving to the kneeling position on the floor, her friend behind her and me in front, she pushed determinedly. Her baby was happy and so was I. Practicing my ‘Hands-off’ approach, I didn’t even tell her when or how to push and strictly forbid anyone else the room to do so as well.
Minutes later a tight ball of beautifulness was birthed! Everything about it was simple and intimate. There was no yelling, no chaos, no hurrying here and there. It was just like I hoped for her. Afterward, she smiled so sweetly while holding her baby to her breast. I loved it.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for vaginal exams and labor induction. There is a place for fundal pressure and vacuum extraction. There is also a place for cesareans. My point is that just because they have their place in some births, they don’t need to be a standard in every birth.
Does that make me a radical? To some perhaps, but I doubt it means that to everyone. I feel a bit more mature as a midwife today-- sort of like, I got my training wheels off. I feel free-- Free to trust women’s bodies in this miracle called birth.
I’m sure I haven’t mastered this lesson yet but I hope to one day make it my own. Pray for me to be wise enough to know when NOT to act and mature enough to BEND when necessary. May my determination be for each woman’s best-- not what her family wants or how it might effect me. Thanks!
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This was a really interesting post. I've really been wondering if there is a place for this type of midwifery in "missions midwifery". Just like all lessons in life the key is finding the balance. Way to do Stephanie!
ReplyDeleteReally interesting. I have just got my registration and have my first client due near the end of feb. My last preceptor was quite pro medwife/moving things along. In my midwife heart this is not how I want to practise but as a new graduate I am just learning to discern when it is necessary (really and truly) to intervene and when to be patient and let birth happen! Babies do know how to be born and mothers are capable of birthing!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a very sweet moment for you and this woman and her precious babe. I pray more births are like this one. Melissa
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I've been trying to be more hands off (only suctioning when really necessary, etc) at the births I attend as the NICU nurse in the hospital I work at. My only birth experience previous to this job was at a birth center where we were very hands off. It's been an interesting adjustment - trying not to succumb to the expectation of intervention when babies don't need it.
ReplyDeleteI dont' find this odd or radical--I find it to be exactly normal. This is birth as God intended. Two women walking together while another is moving through the intensity of birth. Just one phase gently pressing into the next. My mentor, Carla Hartley, has been teaching, preaching, working her heart out to get women to remember what being "WITH WOMAN" actually means. Handsoutta, handsoffa, mouthshutta is her quote. When we leave birth alone to happen as it ought to (women have birthing babies with and without help since the beginning of time (in fact my Savior, Jesus Christ, was born without anyone but his mother and stepfather present) it is incredibly rare for any complications to arise.
ReplyDeleteWhen we eliminate the fears that we ourselves have instilled in our mama's and the hearts of ourselves--birth can progress like the symphony it's supposed to be.
I am proud of you, Stephanie. I don't know you and I know we have the wrong impression that all third world births must be managed and medically contrived--but those women are usually far stronger than we are in the U.S. (as evidenced by her fast pace in the throws of transition) and as a result, if we simply stand along side them as a mother or sister would---birth will happen almost every time with no issues or concerns.
Women who are not told otherwise, know how to hear what their bodies are telling them. If something is wrong--THEY WILL KNOW IT. If all is well, they will be able to maneuver themselves into whatever they need for their babies to emerge safely and securely into their hands.
Great job. I pray all of your births find you as a sister to these precious mama's and not a controller or manager of their births.
P.S. I too, like most, was guilty of impatience and managing at one point--I praise God for sending people like Carla into my life to help me change so that the mothers I was able to serve could enjoy birth as it was always meant to be.
I love this post so much!!! You are truly a blessing!!!
ReplyDeleteOf course you'll know my reaction to this post...A-men and AMEN sister :)
ReplyDeleteYou rock, for taking the risk to let go and trust...you have the skills, now the challenge of learning when to use them or not...something I'm in the veeeeery beginning process of learning.
much love
xoxo
As a homebirther and UCer, I very much believe in undisturbed birth. If I myself am ever a midwife, I would have to be unobtrusive and hands-off. I recently heard someone describe a midwife's role to be that of a lifeguard. I believe a woman's labor and birth should only ever be interfered with in an emergency, when mom or baby are truly in trouble. Otherwise, interferences into what the woman instinctively knows to do can cause a variety of problems on many different levels. I'm glad you are seeking to be a hands-off midwife! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah! Congratulations, may you continue too grow in peace, trust and love.
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