Saturday, a young girl was brought to me in labor. Her story is hard to share. I want to write about it. In fact, I desperately want it out, but I can’t.
Each word sticks in my throat, choking back bile, grief, and shame. They fester in my stomach, making me sick. Oh, to vomit them up in readable paragraphs! What relief it would bring!
But I can’t seem to manage.
Telling her story makes it truer, somehow. I don’t want it to be true. I want to forget. So, I push my thoughts down with my words, only to gag that much more.
Choking on grief, what a nasty way to live.
Hopefully.... hopefully, I’ll be able to write her story down soon. I don’t know how long it will take me.
She lived. Her baby died.
He was such a beautiful baby... sigh. More bile. Gulp.
Her name is Awende.
Pray as the Lord leads.
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I am so sorry Stephanie, I pray God gives you peace and wraps his loving arms around you and Awende.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for Awende and for you my sweet sister. Praying for comfort, peace and renewal. Love you.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. I am praying for you Stephanie!
ReplyDeletePraying for Awende too, such a hard thing. I can hardly imagine.
Praying God's comfort and loving arms to be wrapped around you. Praying He will give you all that you need to get through, and that He will heal the wounds and dry the tears. He is faithful. He sees you where you're at. I'm sorry.
This is Erika, I gave up facebook for lent, but I can still see what you're up to on here. :) I'm thankful for that too.