Sunday, August 22, 2010

Malaria.

So yesterday I started feel funny. I wanted to vomit, had numbness in my limbs. It was strange.

Then last night, I was up every hour with a new complaint. Fever. Chills. Joint pain. Headaches. I kept going through the symptoms in my head. These were all symptoms of malaria but.... I didn't have malaria! I couldn't! God wouldn't do that to me... and well, malaria is some feared disease that makes you feel really bad. I didn't feel REALLY bad. Just strange.

Today, I've had no appetite. But for the most part, all my symptoms have gone. I've had a few chills and a slight fever but not much else. By mid afternoon, I was convinced it was some intestinal thing that my body had just gotten rid of. But Margaret wanted to test me just in case.

I knew it would be negative as I don't feel THAT bad. But I figured, why argue. Just do the test and be done with it. Then we could figure out what is causing this problem.

When she told me I had malaria, I laughed. I couldn't believe it. I even made her show me the results. Yeah, so I don't feel super great but COME ON! This is all it is? Malaria. Really?

Margaret shook her head in confusion and laughed with me. Silly American.

Lest you think me some sick masochist, let me explain.
All my life I've worried about getting malaria and having the disease lay dormant in my body, wreaking havoc on my system. And more recently, I've been watching little children come into the clinic and die of malaria because it wasn't treated quickly enough. The word 'Malaria' has had this aura of fear and mystery. But mostly fear.

I had been praying that somehow miraculously I would never get it. But God chose to do something else. I now have it. But instead of fear, I'm annoyed. How could I have feared this for so long? It's really not as bad as I thought.

I know... I know... I'm an idiot for saying it. Don't I realize that there are different kinds of malaria? Don't I understand that it kills more people each year than I can count? How dare I say that it's nothing? But that is what I'm doing.

It's like being afraid of this scary monster in my closet and then learning it's just an umbrella.
I feel oddly disappointed -- in a relieved sort of way. ha ha

But seriously, I do ask that you'd be praying for a quick recovery all the same. Thanks.